As a parent, I ask myself if I am giving my child what they need at every stage of development. I wonder if I should parent differently, or if I should prioritize teaching them one life skill over another.
Recently, an article published in January 2026 in JAMA Pediatrics caught my eye. Titled “Family Connection in Adolescence and Social Connection in Adulthood,” it found that high schoolers who had strong family connections were more than twice as likely to have high, social connection as adults than those with the lowest family connection. In other words, consistent, nurturing family connection during a child’s teen years produced a greater number of connected adults.
You have seen me write about loss of adult social connection, so finding a way to help my children combat loneliness got me excited. This report made me think about how we can encourage teens to connect with their parents and families during this time of change and growth and a natural time of building independence:
- Welcoming a teen to share their daily experience and receiving it with curiosity, not interrogation or judgment.
- Recommending the teen create a Wise Council—where they confer with friends, respected elders, and maybe even social media and AI—so we are not the only voice of reason, and we don’t get kicked out of the Wise Council—as they seek independent decision making away from us.
- Giving all family members “a place at the table” when having family discussions.
- Asking teens how they will make a tough decision, and validate their judgment when things go well.
- Seeing failure as product design, where we learn from both experiences that go well and those that do not and how will we incorporate this experience into the next decision.
- Collaborating a shared goal for the type of relationship both the parent and child want to create as the teen becomes more independent.
Conversely, what might make it harder for a teen to disclose?
- A parent’s desire to protect their teen and spare them from making mistakes and/or experiencing failure.
- A teen may seek independence at a level that exceeds where the parent is comfortable.
- Distraction from and/or overreliance on social media—texting vs speaking in person or scrolling/phubbing another, seeking validation online—can hinder understanding on both sides.
- Parent-created agendas, decision making or goal making for the teen instead of collaborating with them.
- When parents limit their life lessons to only successes versus the tough lessons learned from disappointments or failures.
The JAMA report concludes that, “safe, stable, and nurturing family relationships during adolescence may contribute to greater relational well-being in adulthood, potentially reducing social disconnection.” If we can convince our teens to join us with our openness, curiosity, vulnerabilities, and share our hopes and fears and uncertainties, we can increase the chance our teen will reciprocate.
As parents, we can help undo our teen’s aloneness and offer support as they take steps to independence. At Our Healing Therapy our clinicians are here to guide parents through the changing relationship with our emerging adult children. Contact us today.
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